


Valerie

by orphan_account



Series: The Weeknd Agenda [6]
Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Clueless Perrie, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Liam, M/M, Song fic, Zayn-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-04 23:39:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And sometimes holding on is what makes it all worth while.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---<br/>companion piece to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1043934">professional</a>—zayn's story.</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	Valerie

**Author's Note:**

> this is dedicated to [**rose**](https://twitter.com/zaynsjaanliam) because i love her very much and her dedication to ziam is literally impeccable. she's absolutely amazing and beautiful. she's one of my top/favourite people in this entire world. <3

  
_“Valerie, you'd rather this than be alone ‘cause I love you and I need you; I only want, and nobody's going to know if it's true.”_   
_\- The Weeknd_   


_There comes a time in a man's life when he must take responsibility for the choices he has made._

The boys are all out promoting their new film, and of course, Perrie is there with them. It’s not like Perrie is really a problem. It’s just that he’s really tired of all of this pretending. Management even told him that he wasn't allowed to let her know that she was a _beard_. 

They just give her a bit more in her paycheque in Little Mix, and she doesn't even notice. She thinks the entire wedding is real, and she’s honest to God in love with him. It makes Zayn sick to his stomach to have to _fool_ her and everyone else.

The only thing that makes it better is Liam, but it’s not like he can actually be with him right now.

The cameramen are all lined up to take pictures of all of them. After they finish, they want him to take pictures with his _fiancée_ and talk about how much he loves her—she’s the only proper girlfriend he’s ever had; the love of his life. He can’t wait to start his life with her. 

_There are certain things that he must do; things that he must say like: I love you and I need you; I only want you, and nobody's going to know if it's true._

None of it’s true, but the crowd and everyone else eats it up, except the boys and himself. He wants to vomit every time they make him say it, but he just swallows it down and walks back over to the boys as Perrie walks over to Little Mix.

***

He has to live with her is the thing. It makes his skin itch. He has to make this believable, so he does the only thing he can think of—he has sex with her.

_I never thought I'd feel this kind of hesitation tonight—my hand on another girl. I wish I didn't have to lie. I wish I could let you know ‘cause I love you, and I need you; I only want you._

The entire time he thinks of Liam and almost screams out his name when he finishes. He feels disgusting and cries in the shower afterwards. They never discuss it the morning after.

***

_“So, Zayn, how are things with you and Perrie?”_

_“When’s the big day?”_

_“Have you chosen a best man yet?”_

All of them ask the same questions over and over again, and each time, his replies are the same— _cool; we don’t know yet; nah, I’m thinking of just having them all be my best man_. It’s so annoying, and it’s not only a lie, but he doesn’t understand how anyone can actually still believe him at this point now. His answers hold little to no meaning each time he answers them.

_I know you can see through me: I know you can see through my lies._

Every time he looks over to Liam for reassurance, he always have a smile ready, just for him. And every time, it makes all of this even better.

***

The funny thing is that he sees it in Liam’s eyes. Whenever the engagement is brought up, it’s like he’s dead. His face falls, and that shatters Zayn’s heart more than anything. He doesn’t know if he honestly believes Zayn anymore when he says it’s just for promotion in the quiet of his and Liam’s _actual_ home— _why pretend to trust in me—_ but then Liam stops moping, stares at Zayn, and it’s like he trusts him with _everything_ ; he sees it in the way that Liam stares at him, and that alone warms him.

_I don't know why you try to trust in me, baby, but I think I might know._

***

Everything is worth it as long as he can go back to Liam in the end _‘cause I love you, and I need you; I only want you, and nobody's going to know if it's true._

**Author's Note:**

> comment? kudos?
> 
> _xx erin_
> 
> twitter: [here](http://twitter.com/drounkinlou)  
> tumblr: [here](http://curlyheadtwins.tumblr.com)


End file.
